Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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