I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
