she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
