you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
