I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The struggles of a small town man whore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
