I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
