Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
