The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
