break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
