Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
