At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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