Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
