I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
