You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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