Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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