You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
