I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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