I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
