I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
