How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
