Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And then he peed in my hair
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
