For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
