This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
