im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
