We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
