i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
