At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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