If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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