Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
