k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
