Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
