Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
