It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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