so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
