Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
