smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
