There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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