I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
