he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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