what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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