Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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