i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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