just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
