I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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