So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
