just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
