I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
