Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
