I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
