I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
